내 아버지의 고철더미

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지난 토요일 아침 아버지가 전화로 내 스케줄을 물어보셨다. 별이 어멈 친구 결혼식 갈 예정이라고 말씀드렸더니 알았다고 하셨다. 이유를 여쭤보니 급히 손이 필요한 일이 생겨 연락하신 것이었다. 그러면서 선약이 있다면 굳이 신경 쓸 것 없다고 전화를 끊으셨다. 평소 아들에게 뭐하나 필요하다 하신적이 없는 아버지의 부탁을 그리 중요하지 않은 결혼식 때문에 들어드리지 못한다는게 마음에 걸렸다. 별이 어멈에게 얘기하니 이해해주어서 아버지 공장에 일을 도우러 가게됐다.

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공장 한쪽엔 고철더미가 쌓여있었다. 아주 망가진 중고기계를 고철로 처리하면서 떼어낸 모터와 그 외 부품들. 다른 기계를 수리할때 혹시 필요할 수 있어 버리지 못하신 고철덩이. 다른 사람들은 그냥 고철로 처분하는 그것들을 공장 한켠에 정리하는것이 아버지가 내게 도와달라고 부탁하신 일이었다. 아버지는 그 고철들을 함께 옮기시며 그 부품이 필요할 때 없어서 구하려면 60만원, 100만원 짜리라며 자랑 하셨다.

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아버지와 함께 정리를 하다보니 중학교 2학년 여름방학 때 아버지 공장에서 일을 도왔던 일이 생각났다. 아버지는 아들들에게 노동과 돈의 가치를 알려주려 하셨던거 같다. 동생은 그 일을 글로 적어 백일장에서 상도 받고 그랬지만 나에겐 좋았던 경험은 아니었다. 기계의 기름때를 제거하는 단순한 일이었지만 더운날 일을 한다는건 쉽지 않은 일이었다. 땀, 기름냄새, 기름때 등 일당 만오천원의 달콤함 외엔 즐거웠던 기억은 아니었던 것이다.

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그 때 내가 이해하기 힘들었던 것 중 하나가 아버지의 사무실이었다. 아버지 공장은 다른 공장과 달리 천장이 낮았다. 세를 내줄 사무실을 짓기 위해 층을 둘로 나눈 탓이었다. 덕분에 25평의 작은 공장임에도 불구하고 번듯한 사무실이 세 개나 있었다. 그런데 당시 아버지는 2층의 번듯한 사무실들은 모두 다 세를 주고 계단 옆 1평도 안되는 곳을 사무실으로 사용하셨다. 지금이야 그곳이 낭만적으로 보이지만 어린 내 눈엔 그저 좁고 더운 사무실일 뿐이었다.

old_office

고철더미와 계단 밑 사무실은 내 아버지의 치열함이다. 그렇게 남보다 불편한 곳에서 남들 보다 많이 일하신 아버지 덕에 우리가족은 IMF 시기를 큰 어려움 없이 지나갈 수 있었다. 그 치열함 덕분에 나는 7년이라는 짧지 않은 시간동안 걱정 없이 유학을 마칠 수 있었다. 그렇게 아버지께서 흘린 수 많은 땀방울 덕분에 나는 지금 에어컨이 돌아가는 시원한 사무실에서 일을하고 가정을 꾸리며 살아가고 있다. 나를 위해 그토록 치열하게 살아오신 아버지께 항상 감사한다. 비록 매번 표현하지는 못하지만. 아버지 항상 감사하고, 존경하고, 사랑합니다.

141개의 댓글

  1. 새벽기도 마치고 집에오는길.. 차에 오디오가 고장나서 내폰으로 찬양을 틀기위해 폰을꺼내는데 장문의글이..

    우리아들 기억력도 좋네
    그옛날일들을 잊지않고 ..
    엄마도 표현을 잘하지 못하지만
    건강하고 바르게 자라줘서 늘 고맙고
    감사하게생각한다

    흑흑..이새벽에 감동의눈물을 흘리고야 말았다

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  2. 아들!
    아들의 생각을 읽으며 지난 시간들이 스처 지나가네,,,
    그러나 그건 아들이 느끼는 치열함 일뿐 난 가치있고
    의미있는 일에 기쁘게 시간 가는 줄 모르고 살았네,,,
    잘 자라주는 아들들을 보면서 자부심과 행복했었단다.
    지금도 삶에 감사가있고 내일에 희망을 생각 할 수 있는
    오늘을 생각하면 하나님께 감사 한 마음 뿐이구나,,,
    아들! 고맙고 사랑한다.
    ***그리고 사실과 다른건 바로 알린다***
    *낭만있는 계단밑 사무실은 약 1.5평 정도이고
    지금은 15평의 주변에서 최고라는 사무실을 사용중이라는 것*

    1. Author

      1.5평이나 되는 사무실을 1평 이하라고 30퍼센트 이상 축소한 제잘못이 큽니다ㅋㅋ
      실측하지 않고 글 쓴 제 부족함은 양해해주세요^^

      1. 멀~ 양해까지ㅋㅋ
        1.5평의 절반은 부속 창고로 사용했으니
        틀린 것도 아니지ㅎㅎ

  3. 내아버지의 고철더미를 보면서
    동시대의 삶을 되돌아보게 되내요~~

    자식이 부모님의 살아오신 길을
    존경한다는 자식을둔 사돈께서는
    성공하시고 행복하신 분이십니다~~

    늘 건강하세요~~ ~~

  4. 아버지 어머니의 성실한 삶에 항상 감사하고, 존경합니다.
    닮아가도록 노력하겠습니다.

    이번엔 찬기 니가 백일장 상 받아도 되겠다ㅎ

    1. Author

      니가 중2때 쓴거보단 잘써야 하지 않겠나?ㅋㅋ

  5. 한참을 보고 또 봤네요 ㅠ
    코끝이 찡해져 옵니다 ㅠ
    아버님, 어머님, 아빠, 엄마 존경하고 사랑합니다❤️

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